Typical Memory Care resting face. Copyright Guardian

This morning, I woke up livid. I am angry that Joe Biden has revealed himself, not as a patriot, but as the most typical, hubris infected narcissist of a politician. Last night, the mentally ill Trump rolled over and exposed his belly before Biden and his doddering, clueless opponent could not get off a single attack line. Nothing but gibberish and over-prepped 1 and 2 and 3 and 4… who the fuck cares!? I am almost inconsolably worried that in his aged incompetence Biden has now made us all vulnerable to the evil around the world. I mean, what America hater with ill-intent wouldn’t exploit this moment? As an independent voter, I depend on the two parties to bring me suitable candidates. The Democrats, faced with an existential threat to our republic, brought me that sad, barely functional mess of a man. Damn them for putting millions of us that this position.

I was texting with friends last night. One by one, they said they couldn’t watch anymore. Not me. I stayed for the end and beyond. If you kept watching, here is what you saw. Typically, after a debate, the two candidates walk forward to take applause and greet well-wishers. The room was empty. For a moment, both candidates stood at their podiums, looking out at nothing. Wisely, Trump turned on his heal and left. Jill suddenly appeared at Joe’s side. Again, they stood staring at nothing. Then Joe decided to shake the hands of the CNN reporters. Jill reached and took a firm hold on Joe’s left hand. They walked forward and Joe turned sort of sideways, staring down at the first step. Jill studied the president as Joe hesitantly reached his foot out for the step. Jill guided him all the way down. Holy fuck, I thought, I have done that same thing with my 90-year-old father. Jill knows. The staff knows. Everyone around him knows. Joe can no longer function in the world without help. If he was a retired bus driver, we’d say, good for the loyal Jill. But he isn’t. His wife is the chief enabler of this charade.

About 16 months ago, in an essay begging Joe to declare victory and leave, I wrote this:

The power of the presidency is a narcotic. The addiction’s most obvious symptom is a creeping narcissism. In the bubble around the White House the occupant comes to believe they are essential. Joe now believes he is the only one who can save us. He’s wrong. We would be fine without him. But the rationalization means he ignores what he knows about himself. The people around him, without considering it, become his props. They adjust presentation and schedule. They make excuses in the wake of mistakes. And, especially in this case, because he has had success and is a genuinely good guy, they don’t want to fail or abandon him. Who wants to tell grandpa it’s time to hand over the keys to the car for the safety of him and everyone else on the road?

Remember, Biden demanded t his early date to address the age questions. Sequestered away at Camp David, Biden staff saw for days what we saw last night. They knew he was finished. Do you see now why Biden has fewer open press conferences than any other president. Even Reagan, in early-stage dementia, gave more access to the media. Everyone in the White House knows. Democratic leadership knows. America suspected, but after last night we know. Joe Biden cannot serve another 4 years as President. Age comes to us all. In Joe’s case, it yelled from the screen at 45 million viewers last night.

Today, every rational analyst is calling for Biden to step down and give way to the next generation. Still, this morning he went to North Carolina and reading from a teleprompter was coherent if not feisty. Fools’ gold. His spontaneous remarks were seconds long. To counter last night’s disaster, he needs to do 4 events like that a day followed by national press conferences and one-on-one reporter interviews. He needs a hectic campaign schedule with complete openness to the public. But that will not happen because he simply can’t do it. Everyone around him knows. We now know.

The polls, which are already awful, will only get worse. I just listened to focus group analysis where potential Biden leaners all said they like him but will not support him. The only chance we have is for someone new to jump in at the convention and completely change the narrative. That’s it. Otherwise, we hand our sweet country over to Trump and the fascists. Hell, almost any other Democrat would be up 10 points today!

The two-minute ending statement at a debate is the most painfully, carefully crafted speech any candidate will ever deliver. It must be about the future. The messages are clear and repeatable. No 2 minutes ever gets more loving attention. Biden’s statement last night was utter gibberish, delivered with no clarity or passion. It was the rant of an old man too long at the bar after last call.

For me? I will not vote for Biden. Oregon is not a swing state, so my vote was always merely a signifier. Now, I will not lower my political candidate standard to support Biden. And, don’t tell me about the last 3 years. This election is about the next 4 years, even the next 100 years. If Biden stays in, well, America had a good run, didn’t it.